Memories by Linda Silva

On Sunday, June 9th, the following was given by Linda Silva at Kent's memorial service. I always described Kent as her soul mate. Linda is her kindred spirit. Thank you Linda for always being there for me. God blessed me with a wonderful sister and friend -- Sally

Hello, my name is Linda Silva. You have probably heard that I'm Sally's sister. As you have guessed, we really are not sisters by blood, but we are sisters by spirit. As you know, you don't have to be from the same blood to call someone you love sister, brother, father, mother, daughter or son.

Sal and I go back a long way. Sal, I can still remember the  first day I met you and what I noticed was a beautiful smile and that sparkle in your eyes and that Staudte determination as I saw you walk down the school hall. And since then we have stood watch over each other, through each of our lives storms, springs and sunshines. You have been like a willow tree ... beautiful, soft, fragile, weathering through life's hurricanes. Yet you stand firmly as you've met each of life's challenges.

Do you know that you are the most courageous and remarkable person I know? And I believe it's because of your faith in God and in yourself.

Sal, do you know that I've always wanted to be like you? I love that Staudte determination.

Do you remember Lombard Street? For those of you who don't know this story, someone once said to Sal that she could not possibly go down Lombard (a street in San Francisco known as the crookedest street in the world) in her wheelchair. Well, as you might have guessed, she proved them wrong! Never tell this woman something can not be done, because if there is a will, there is a way!

Do you know that I have always felt secure about our relationship, even when we were continents apart? I guess the laughter and tears have kept us glued at the hip.

Sal and I have always joked about my seven thousand sisters. I really don't have seven thousand sisters. I just have seven other sisters and three brothers, and I have always told her she is my eighth sister. It is a privilege to call you my sister.

Did you know that you are my hero? And I believe you were Kent's too! He definitely was your soul mate. 

Kent was a very generous, witty, talented, loving and intelligent man...and he was a kid at heart. I can close my eyes and I can see him zipping down the street on his scooter, safety equipment on, and his blue cape flapping in the wind. What a birthday that was.

I'll always remember the video he made of Tina. Showing how Tina lived and lives her life from a "vertically challenged position." I showed that film to my six year old granddaughter Vantia. After seeing the film, we discussed it. She was very impressed and she made her own analogy. She said, "Nana, life can be tough but you don't give up." Ah, a child's wisdom.

Kent made a difference in so many of our lives. He has left us a legacy of family and wonderful friends.

Many of us benefited from Kent's boundless acts of generosity. I believe one of his last acts was while he was in the hospital, even though it involved me. The story goes like this.

Sal and I were there at the hospital and I thought that I would offer him a foot massage. He said that he would love it! So I massaged his feet, legs, hands, arms, and face. Yes, he thoroughly enjoyed it. He though it was wonderful. Sal and I kissed him goodbye and told him we would see him in the morning. We left him quite content.

The next morning he calls us and he is still going on about the foot massage, but he also tells us that he has offered a foot massage to his roommate. He was generous to a fault. Sal told him, well, it was me, but did he also realize that he just forfeited his foot massage since he just gave his away. He was OK with that! And yes, I did give his roommate a foot massage.

Even in the seriousness of the situation he found humor. 

When we found out that his body was not putting out fluids as fast as it was going in, we had a pee talk. Yes, I did say pee. Sal and I thought of songs that would want to make him pee, then we thought of things and places that would want to make him pee. We told him about running streams. How about Hoover Dam? Now that was a big pee. And Niagara Falls. And it seemed to work. We would say, "OK, Kent. Think pee." He would say, "OK," squint, and push. 

I asked him what else reminded him of pee? He answered New York. Well, I guess that can be a pisser of a town. Sorry New York! We asked him how do you spell pee? He said, "P-E-A." No Kent, wrong type of pee. "OK," he said, "p double e."

With each hospital visit the situation changed. Sal and I would go home to try and regroup our thoughts. We would laugh, cry, laugh and cry some more.

Sal, do you remember that one night we watched the movie "Patch Adams?" We came to the scene where Patch is in the insane asylum and he asks the professor "What is the answer about the four fingers?? The answer was not four but eight fingers. The professor said you had to look beyond. Look beyond. That was the answer. Yes, look beyond. That is what I have seen, and that is what Kent saw in you. He had the vision to see beyond.

I know this is a difficult time for you! Another challenge. Another storm had been set before you. Yet even though my heart aches for you and family and friends, you are standing firm.

I said earlier, you have stood firmly with each challenge and that's how I see you. I don't see the wheelchair and neither did Kent. Your dad, Pop, believed you were like a butterfly; soft, delicate, with abounding inner strength and beauty. And guess what? Kent saw that and more. Kent saw the intelligent, witty, unsinkable woman that you are!

Kent did embark in a great adventure, but the adventure is not over. His legacy will continue. He touched so many lives in so many different ways. He may have been a rain drop, but what a splash he made in our lives and will continue so.

There are a lot of springs and beautiful rainbows ahead and I and your family and friends look forward to seeing these with you.

I put my arms around you on behalf of our family, and friends, and Kent, and kiss you gently on the cheek. For I love you, my dearest sister.

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