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Epiphany - Sally's Journey of Faith (May 4, 2002)I'm used to being on the other side of the treatment regimen. This caregiver role is very different. I have a much greater respect now for what my family went through while I was growing up. Growing up with polio, I've had my share of hospital stays, operations, and recovery time. I had always had enough faith to bring myself through each of the trials I had to face. But this time it's different. I don't like not being in control of the situation. There is little I can do but sit back and watch it all. I can't make it better, I can't bear the pain for Kent, and I can't give him back the use of his legs. I can only be there to offer love, comfort and assistance. On Thursday, I awoke in deep spiritual distress. Why was this happening to Kent? He lives to do good things for others. He is one of the most unselfish people I have ever known. Why would God allow this terrible disease to strike? Now I believe with all my heart that God doesn't pick someone out and strike them down. If I did, I would probably have given up on life a long time ago. But that didn't ease my pain. What can I do to make things better? I prayed. And then, I listened. All of a sudden, it was like on "Touched by an Angel." No, I didn't see Monica and the hair didn't glow, but I suddenly felt an incredible peace. I knew I did not have to bear the load alone. God was touching my heart and telling me that he would be in charge if I let him. I wrestled with this for a long while. With each thought I was telling God how I would do things if I was him. Each time, I got a little nudge asking if I was going to do this or was I going to let Him take care of it. When I finally turned Kent over to God's healing hands, I knew I could face everything that lays in front of us. It may not always be easy. And there will definitely be valleys we have to cross, but we will cross them together. There are the things I can do. I can be there to support Kent. I can be in prayer constantly. I can report progress and ask for the prayers and support of others. I can ask for wisdom for the people caring for Kent. But I don't have to bear it all since He is in control. The way I have this figured, God has got to heal Kent quickly to make room for prayer for all the others that need it. God seems to be using this situation to turn a lot of hearts to him. There are people all around the world who are praying and pulling for Kent's recovery. There has been reconciliation in the family. The hospital staff are in awe of how well Kent is responding to treatment, what a positive attitude he has, and how motivated he is to get better. I am no longer timid about being seen praying in public and asking others to pray with me. These are not thoughts that I share lightly. My experience has always been that I try to live my faith, but seldom talk about it. It has been a very private thing. I hope that this message can be used to open your heart. Tell those you love how much they mean to you. Treat each day as a precious gift from God. Don't waste a single moment of it. Love, |