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One Month (June 25, 2002)It's been a month since Kent died. People have been asking how things are going so I figured I would update everyone. Much has changed for Shelby and I. The house seems bigger than it used to be. For sure it is much quieter. I miss his laughter. Sometimes I think I still hear it. It is much harder than it used to be to get everything done. I have bought myself several energy saving appliances which has been helping a lot. I also have a new power wheelchair on order which will help even more. Many folks have wondered how I handle things. Actually, Kent used to travel a lot and I was pretty independent and used to doing things for myself. There are so many people on call that I know I can get anything done. As folks drop by, if there is something I need down, I ask for it. The necessities are already at my level. For the rest, I will be putting in some new drawers in the bottom cabinets to move things down to my level, but for the most part the house is very accessible. My brother Bill moved the thermostat down where I can see it. That was the worst part of being by myself. Last December, Kent put in a new programmable thermostat. It was 2 feet above my eye level which didn't seem bad at the time. The LCD panel was poorly lit and at an odd angle. I couldn't see it either with or without my bifocals, so I was trying to adjust the programming by Braille. Sometimes it worked. Other times, it was either 87 degrees, or 67 degrees. Now the temp is stabilized and we are much more comfortable. So much paperwork, so little time. I've started all the insurance paperwork and saw the lawyer about the will and trust. This is one of the areas that I have little experience in but have several folks that have given good advice on how to proceed. Kent made sure I will always have a roof over my head. I went back to work on the 13th. There is a lot to do and I had not put things in good order before I was out for people to easily step in. I probably went back too soon. Things are getting pretty intense. Actually, they have been pretty intense for quite some time. I just couldn't face having any more stuff in the in box. As it was, there were 395 new messages waiting for me and 600 old ones. It took me a week just to get through all of that. Being off work for 3 weeks gave me some interesting insights. On the 11th, I was chatting with my friend Becky. I told her that it was disgusting that the day after I buried Kent, I was less stressed than I have been for the past 2 years at work. I know I am really burned out and am looking forward to some new challenges and projects where I can really make a creative contribution to society. I figured I would work out some of my energy and clean up the garage some, breaking down boxes, moving garbage cans, putting stuff away. That was 2 weeks ago. Now I have more room and can get around much easier (at least in the garage), but I strained my back doing it and am in a lot of pain. The doctor is having me go for physical therapy 3 times a week for a while to try to get it back under control. I think I prefer the physical pain to the emotional pain though. Through experience, I know how to handle it. Sleep does not yet come easily. I'm not afraid of the darkness. I just don't like the quiet and solitude. I'm really glad the TV has a sleep timer. Most nights I'm getting only between 3 1/2 and 4 hours of sleep. This is also not helping my back and by necessity I'll be slowing down soon. Son Brian bought Kent's pickup truck. That is a big load off my mind. My brother Bill drove it to Arizona (with my dad's radial arm saw), and then rendezvoused with Brian last weekend to deliver it. Reports are that Brian took granddaughter Grace for a ride in the mountains for her birthday. Grandpa Kent loved driving in the mountains. The next big job to tackle is the RV. Traveling in the "Bird of Play" was a fun activity that we enjoyed together, but I can't manage it by myself and am going to put it up for sale. I'm planning an "elephant washing" party on Sunday. Kent always equated washing a 28 foot RV to washing an elephant. It can be hard to tell if you're done. If you're in the area, drop by. The more the merrier. Food after. If you know of anyone that might be interested in a 28" Fleetwood Flair let me know. Click here for more info on the RV. I've been working on getting the house in order. The stuff from company has been tidied up. The memorabilia from the memorial service has been put away. Food has been either eaten or frozen. Being alone, the house doesn't get as messy, which helps a lot. I'll be editing the memorial service video next week while off work for the holiday. If you are interested in a copy, let me know so I can make enough. I don't guarantee when it will be out, but I will let you know. I haven't started going through his personal stuff yet. I'm not really in any hurry to tackle that project. It is still comforting to me to see his clothes hanging in the closet. Don't be surprised if I am not here and you get the home voicemail to hear his voice. I'm not ready to let that go yet either. Actually, I kind of like having a man's voice answer the voicemail. There is a little less vulnerability, if you know what I mean. If you don't want to get that voicemail, you can always call me on my cell phone at 916-204-7442. I give the greeting. Shelby and I went to Santa Rosa last Saturday for a Canine Companions picnic. It was great to see many of my friends, yet it was hard too. This was the first CCI event in over 10 years that we were not at together. I went to the gift shop to see what kind of new stuff they had. It was strange to not be looking for 2 identical shirts. Stranger still was the fact that the of only shirts in my size that I didn't already have, there was only one of each. Be patient with me in getting my personal notes out. I want to thank each one of you for your support, prayers, helpfulness, food, and friendship. That is how I am able to manage so well. People have called me inspiring. I call it getting on with life. That's what Kent would have wanted me to do. Love,
This memorial site will be expanding. If you would like to send something to share, please click this link. He meant a lot to a lot of people, probably more than any of us can realize. Photos are a welcome addition. In lieu of flowers, donations may be sent in Kent's memory to Canine Companions for Independence or Pleasant Grove Community Church, his 2 favorite charities.
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